Todd Terje – Inspector Norse
Todd Terje’s big tracks have ‘hit’ written all over them, everything leading inexorably to the inevitable echoey synthrush two thirds of the way through. Give me a fucking break. I don’t care if they’re made with timeless machines, the sound is anything but timeless, combining a hypercool now-disco beat section (brownie points!) with the cheesiest parts of bigroom now-disco-house (hello Tensnake melodies!) and manipulative build-ups/breakdowns worthy of the most cynical of now-chart-dance records (HUGE DELAY-LADEN BEATLESS SECTION!). It makes me cringe.
The irony being that I wrote that while actually listening to ‘Ragysh’, knowing that exactly the same formula is used in ‘Inspector Norse’. The difference is that while ‘Ragysh’ has a bit of muscle on its side (the only thing going for most tracks like this), ‘Inspector Norse’ instead sounds like it’s skipping through the land of chocolate (see picture). Even some vaguely adventurous Daft Punk cadences halfway through can’t save it. It’s stupid music that resolutely refuses to be enjoyed, even if only for what it is (unlike, you know, Jentina).
******
Storm Queen – It Goes On
Now I hate mentioning Morgan Geist’s name in the same breath as Todd Terje’s, but I’ve chosen my theme so I’ll stick with it. Geist has proven over and over again that in the business of making contemporary disco he is not only top dog, he is pretty much the only dog. He is one of my all-time favourite producers and records like Terje’s stand precisely zero chance when facing off against ‘Caught Up’, ‘Strut’, ‘Miura’, ‘Let’s Get…’, it goes on… And it does go on, with his good-to-ok productions for Erlend Øye, Junior Boys and now under the alias Storm Queen, whose ‘Look Right Through’ was actually pretty good (and, incidentally, everything ‘Inspector Norse’ wishes it was but isn’t).
And it goes on even further, regrettably, with ‘It Goes On’. Listening to it now I feel dismay at its lunkheadedness, mild bafflement at its general popularity (mild only because, as we’ve already seen above, people will go for anything), and genuine outrage at its popularity with people who should know better. Like in Terje’s tracks, for a split second the sounds in this record make me say ‘yeah!’, before I regain my senses and realise: the bassline isn’t motivational, it’s oppressive; the vocal isn’t emotive, it’s oddly empty (partly due to being unfairly treated by effects); the key changes in the chorus aren’t revelatory, they’re completely non-sequiturial, stripping them of any power. The techy bridge section is the only part of the track worth saving, and it’s possible someone could use it to make a worthy remix, though something tells me Geist’s chosen remixers for the Storm Queen project (e.g. JAMIE FUCKING JONES) are not the ones to do it.
The track makes me sad. Gone is the effortless joy of his early-2000 output – and I wouldn’t complain about him trying a darker atmosphere if he hadn’t at the same time done away with the finesse that defined his best work. This is flat and unpleasant to listen to and I don’t want to listen to it again.
